Attack of the PenguinsSaturday, May 2, 2009
Honeymoon Photos
After the wedding on 7th March, Lucy and Dave spent a wonderful week in Capetown, South Africa:
Attack of the Penguins
Attack of the Penguins
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Monday, March 2, 2009
Delivering the Cows
Dave's delegation to Siaya presented Lucy's family with the dowry on 7th February. The bulls, heifers, and goats were warmly received during a special celebration in the village of KaLuo. Here are a few photos:
Dave's team with Lucy, her mom, and cousin: (From left to right) Rev. Ochola, Lucy Amina (the bride), Rev. Dr. Lukio Otieno, Capt. Martin Omollo, Sophie Amina (Lucy's mom), and cousin Sophie.
Lucy's uncle Tom inspects one of the cows. He received them on behalf of Lucy's father who was sick during the months of January and February.
Friday, September 26, 2008
R.S.V.P.
Please email Dave at kenyaconnection@gmail.com if you would like more information about visas, travel, or accommodation in Nairobi, or to R.S.V.P. for attending the wedding from the U.S.
Reception
Our wedding reception will be held at Jumuia Conference and Country Home in Limuru, Kenya. It is about twenty six kilometers from Nairobi and offers excellent accommodation for out of town guests. For more information, please visit: www.resortjumuia.com/Limuru.html
Monday, September 15, 2008
Negotiating a Dowry / Accepted into the Family
We met two hours early. Dressed in our Sunday best, my team of negotiators and I sat in the empty parking lot of the church compound.
"Envelopes, we need lots of envelopes", my friend Jackson instructed me. I adjusted my tie and made a move toward the car. Jackson had been married for nearly two years. He recounted his experience; the challenges and joys of the first "official visit" and the time of dowry negotiation.
"Are these enough?"
The envelopes were placed neatly on the bench as another team member asked, "Who is her father's representative?"
My fiancee's father would be represented by an elder brother, as per the traditions of the Luo tribe. We weren't sure, but the negotiations could be conducted entirely in Luo, so the seating arrangements for a translator would be important.
"It is important to respect the culture of Siaya and the wishes of her family."
My chief negotiator and our team's elder spokesman was Rev. Lukio Otieno. Rev. Lukio had become a good friend, and as a retired pastor from Western Kenya, his extensive knowledge of Luo culture and language was invaluable. He ran through expected outcomes for our visit and stressed the importance of listening and being willing to honour Lucy's family. After a few more minutes of sharing, we had a time of prayer and headed for the car.
"Have you been shopping yet?", Susan called out as I closed the door.
I had forgotten. When making an official vist, or when visiting after a long period of absence, it is customary to bring household gifts such as flour, oil, milk, and sugar. We would have to make a stop on the way.
Our team traveled to the supermarket and afterwards across Nairobi through the industrial area and to the Remand Prison. Lucy's parents both worked in prison ministry and her father was a prison warden and chaplain. Their family lived in one of the most secure places in Nairobi, inside a large prison complex, side by side with the guards and the black and white jumpsuits worn by the prisoners. This was the home where Lucy had grown up, with her three sisters and one brother, and others who had joined their family in times of need.
After passing through security, we arrived at the house and found a large crowd waiting to welcome us. The uncles were all seated inside. Lucy's father, Martin Amina, was there and the older women began to sing as we entered. After formal introductions, the food was served. We all sat on couches around the center table filled with plates of tender chicken, beef stew, whole tilapia roasted with tomatoes and onions, pilau, chapati, and of course, ugali. Martin told me that as the guest of honor, I should be served first.
During the meal we talked about politics and geography, history and economics, anything and everything except marriage. I was starting to wonder whether the conversation would ever turn. My palms were sweating, my mind spinning; I was tired of waiting and prayed we would enter the official stage soon.
After what seemed an eternity, Lucy's uncle addressed Rev. Lukio, "What brings you here today? I'm told that David has made many visits to this house, but this is the first time he has been so well dressed. What is special about today? What has led you to visit this home at such a time as this?"
Rev. Lukio responded, "There is something in this house that draws us. There is someone in your family that we wish to discuss."
"We have a large family. There are many in this house. Who is it that you wish to discuss?"
"There is a daughter, one who is a friend to David and has become precious in his eyes."
In the Luo tradition, the first official visit begins with food, then with many proverbs and subtle hints, filled with humour and quiet laughter. Finally, a declaration is shared.
At that point, it was almost evening and Lucy was called into the house. We both sat and were asked separately if we desired to marry. Her family inquired of my intentions and after a time of sharing, they all expressed support for our relationship. Then, according to the tradition, her father's spokesman turned to me and asked, "How can you show us that you are serious, that you would like to join our family and marry one of our daughters?"
Rev. Lukio responded on my behalf, "The young man is serious. What sign can he show? How can he demonstrate to you that he is willing and that he is serious? In some places, a chicken is a sign of commitment, in others it is a goat. What is the culture of your people, and what do you desire?”
There was much laughter and joking. Our conversation continued as Lucy left the room. Eventually, according to the custom, the envelopes were shared and the gifts were given. After a cup of tea and maandazis, we joined together in prayer and gave thanks. The team and I said farewell and left the house. The first visit was finished. . .I had been accepted into the family.
"Envelopes, we need lots of envelopes", my friend Jackson instructed me. I adjusted my tie and made a move toward the car. Jackson had been married for nearly two years. He recounted his experience; the challenges and joys of the first "official visit" and the time of dowry negotiation.
"Are these enough?"
The envelopes were placed neatly on the bench as another team member asked, "Who is her father's representative?"
My fiancee's father would be represented by an elder brother, as per the traditions of the Luo tribe. We weren't sure, but the negotiations could be conducted entirely in Luo, so the seating arrangements for a translator would be important.
"It is important to respect the culture of Siaya and the wishes of her family."
My chief negotiator and our team's elder spokesman was Rev. Lukio Otieno. Rev. Lukio had become a good friend, and as a retired pastor from Western Kenya, his extensive knowledge of Luo culture and language was invaluable. He ran through expected outcomes for our visit and stressed the importance of listening and being willing to honour Lucy's family. After a few more minutes of sharing, we had a time of prayer and headed for the car.
"Have you been shopping yet?", Susan called out as I closed the door.
I had forgotten. When making an official vist, or when visiting after a long period of absence, it is customary to bring household gifts such as flour, oil, milk, and sugar. We would have to make a stop on the way.
Our team traveled to the supermarket and afterwards across Nairobi through the industrial area and to the Remand Prison. Lucy's parents both worked in prison ministry and her father was a prison warden and chaplain. Their family lived in one of the most secure places in Nairobi, inside a large prison complex, side by side with the guards and the black and white jumpsuits worn by the prisoners. This was the home where Lucy had grown up, with her three sisters and one brother, and others who had joined their family in times of need.
After passing through security, we arrived at the house and found a large crowd waiting to welcome us. The uncles were all seated inside. Lucy's father, Martin Amina, was there and the older women began to sing as we entered. After formal introductions, the food was served. We all sat on couches around the center table filled with plates of tender chicken, beef stew, whole tilapia roasted with tomatoes and onions, pilau, chapati, and of course, ugali. Martin told me that as the guest of honor, I should be served first.
During the meal we talked about politics and geography, history and economics, anything and everything except marriage. I was starting to wonder whether the conversation would ever turn. My palms were sweating, my mind spinning; I was tired of waiting and prayed we would enter the official stage soon.
After what seemed an eternity, Lucy's uncle addressed Rev. Lukio, "What brings you here today? I'm told that David has made many visits to this house, but this is the first time he has been so well dressed. What is special about today? What has led you to visit this home at such a time as this?"
Rev. Lukio responded, "There is something in this house that draws us. There is someone in your family that we wish to discuss."
"We have a large family. There are many in this house. Who is it that you wish to discuss?"
"There is a daughter, one who is a friend to David and has become precious in his eyes."
In the Luo tradition, the first official visit begins with food, then with many proverbs and subtle hints, filled with humour and quiet laughter. Finally, a declaration is shared.
At that point, it was almost evening and Lucy was called into the house. We both sat and were asked separately if we desired to marry. Her family inquired of my intentions and after a time of sharing, they all expressed support for our relationship. Then, according to the tradition, her father's spokesman turned to me and asked, "How can you show us that you are serious, that you would like to join our family and marry one of our daughters?"
Rev. Lukio responded on my behalf, "The young man is serious. What sign can he show? How can he demonstrate to you that he is willing and that he is serious? In some places, a chicken is a sign of commitment, in others it is a goat. What is the culture of your people, and what do you desire?”
There was much laughter and joking. Our conversation continued as Lucy left the room. Eventually, according to the custom, the envelopes were shared and the gifts were given. After a cup of tea and maandazis, we joined together in prayer and gave thanks. The team and I said farewell and left the house. The first visit was finished. . .I had been accepted into the family.
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